A search for the perfect fridge

What do you need to look for in a refrigerator? First you think all the immediate fridge related thoughts: keep things cold, hold items requiring a coolness factor of x, storage of dairy products to prevent the nastiness that they can produce if left at room temperature, hideaway location for unmentionables used in those special occasions (I don’t even want to know what you all thought of after reading that line), and so on. Then, you think about how much you would like it to hold: a large dead animal, a keg of beer, a case of Bawls, softball size hail, or maybe just a packet or two of ketchup. However, a search for the perfect refrigerator must always include a little thinking outside the box. Do you need the fridge for use in science experiments? Will the refrigerator be capable of generating anything other than cold – say maybe heat? What would you do with a refrigerator that could generate heat as well as cold? How often would you open the refrigerator – do you need special hinge requirements? Do you need some sort of logo on the refrigerator to signify who it is you serve? Is there anyone giving a refrigerator away that might meet any of your requirements? What would you do if you won a refrigerator?

Which leads me completely off the original post topic and straight to:

What would I do with a refrigerator that could also heat items AND has the Google logo located somewhere on it (in order – of course)?

  1. Create a specially made altar just for it -as all things Google and Apple must be worshiped.
  2. Place the Google refrigerator on the Altar with great reverence and care (may even need to pray while plugging it in – not sure about that one yet).
  3. Carefully fill the refrigerator with un-boxed Peeps, an edible Flying Spaghetti Monster, and a Gummy Banana Slug (or two).
  4. Turn the refrigerator on its highest heat setting… crap no window!!! rethink last thought… Turn the refrigerator on its coldest cold setting.
  5. Wait at least two hours – a good excuse to go play Guitar Hero III.
  6. Remove items from refrigerator and smash all with a hammer to test if the refrigerator was able to cool the items enough to shatter.
  7. If yes –> Enjoy shards of sugary goodness! Repeat as necessary
  8. Else –> Feel satisfied with a smushed mound of goo. Do not repeat – fill fridge with Bawls instead.

Tune in later to find out if I ever return to the original post topic…

Disclaimer: this post is in response to a “contest” for a free Google refrigerator. You can find all the giveaway information on Dan Perry’s blog. And just in case you are not familiar with the concept, this post contains some SARCASM – you have been warned.

2 Responses to “A search for the perfect fridge”

  1. Just wanted to say thanks for entering, and best of luck!

  2. Hey there Belhoste,

    I entered this contest too, but I just wanted to give you a shout-out for mentioning Bawls in your entry! The founder is a college buddy of mine and I love it that he’s still going strong.