Today (the synopsis)
Just in case you always wondered what my day was like, here is an oh so brief look into my life - complete with commentary:
- Awakened by the screeching sound of one hell of an annoying alarm clock. I get out of bed. I trip over the dogs. I locate the offensive alarm clock. I hit snooze.
- Alarm –> Snooze
- Alarm –> Snooze
- Alarm –> Snooze
- Alarm –> briefly glance at actual time on clock –> Snooze
- Alarm –> Snooze
- Alarm –> oh crap! I now stumble out of bed and run through my personal morning hygiene routine (you didn’t really think I would go into that kind of detail - now did ya
) - Go to work (I know it is a four letter word, but the censors don’t seem to mind it all that much - so I will go ahead and use it here).
- Check email.
- Respond to email
- Work - work - work
- Work - work - work - work
- Pretend to work….. waiting for lunchtime
- Go to lunch
- Oh joy - I am going to deviate from my normal work routine and I head to the dentist (this dental trip is for what the dentist previously assured me was a very small cavity - something I haven’t had in quite some time).
- The joy of the deviation is short lived upon my arrival to the actual dentist.
- Check in with the receptionist
- Wait - read out of date magazines- wait - wait - wait….
- Check email on my iPhone
- Wait - wait - wait….
- My turn in the chair… the feeling of joy at not being at work is still not returning
- The nice dental assistant offers me gas (laughing gas in case you thought of something else just now) - I think I like her…
- The feeling of joy is returning at the flick of a switch - aaaaahhhhhhhhh I feel good!
- Enter the dentist - say hello to the nice dentist -”hewwo docor”
- Doctor is holding large needle -rethinking the whole previous nice doctor thought from a second ago…
- Doctor inserts large needle into what feels like my brain - someone please turn up the gas
- Wipe away tears - breathe very, very, very deeply - aaaaahhhhhhhhh I feel better
- Sit open mouthed for what seems like hours
- Contemplate why exactly I thought this was a good idea to pay someone to inflict torture on me
- Doctor says “you’re all done”
- I say “Are you sure- because I can’t feel my tongue or my ears” (this was said with some difficulty and I can’t seem to type it the way it really sounded - if you want the full effect, stuff your mouth with cotton balls and read the quote outloud)
- Doctor “That should wear off in a couple of hours”
- Me “That’s a relief, but why did you numb my ears”
- Doctor “That doesn’t normally happen - but it will definitely wear off”
- Me “Oh goody! I have a conference call in about 15 minutes, so it should work out well for me”
FYI: I made it through the conference call without incident, but I did have to repeat my name three times until they figured out what I was saying. Oh and three hours later I could finally feel my ears again.
