Happy New Year to you!

Today is the day to partake in the very American tradition of setting resolutions that you have every intention of breaking in the next six months so you can set them again next year (it leaves a lot to look forward to – all those perfect people have nothing to do this time of year). In keeping with that great American tradition, this is my list:

  1. Refrain from actually hanging anyone from their toe-nails no matter how much they deserve it.
  2. Walk the dogs at least once a week instead of just throwing them out in the backyard to play.
  3. Consider using at least one piece of exercise equipment that I already own – if that doesn’t work out, then sell the offending piece of equipment to de-clutter the house.
  4. Seriously consider not finding any of the weight that those around me are losing – more because I hate clothes shopping than I care how much I weigh.
  5. Try to find at least one positive thing about the bastards that I have to deal with on a regular basis.
  6. Figure out the names of the roads and the actual direction they go that I take to work instead of just driving via landmarks.
  7. Actually listen to the voicemail messages on my phone instead of just calling back people based on what shows on the caller-id.
  8. Spend hours in deep meditation to find out what my lucky lottery numbers are….then…win the lottery.
  9. Drink more Starbucks coffee (now this is a resolution I will definitely keep but may interfere with item #4).
  10. Switch back to the Mac at home as a show of my life-long support of Apple instead of using a PC.
  11. Play more Poker (after all – my odds are better at it than winning the lottery).

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